It has been ages since I last wrote in this thing. I've been pretty busy with work, but on top of that, I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues lately, thanks to culture shock. I had anticipated encountering it before coming here and I feel like I've been dealing with it relatively well, but it's still a persistent problem that's been taking a bit of a toll on my mental well-being.
Admittedly, I've been feeling pretty homesick lately. I have officially been in Japan for four months as of yesterday, and this is the longest (not to mention farthest) I have ever been away from home. My college was about a two hour drive from my hometown, so back when I was still a student, I'd go home quite often. Since I obviously can't do that now, thanks to the Internet, it's been really easy to keep in touch with my loved ones back in the States. Talking to them through email, Skype, and Facebook has been extremely helpful in easing my feelings of homesickness.
But to be honest, my biggest issue has actually been a language-related one. I studied Japanese in college in order to earn an East Asian Studies minor, but I unfortunately didn't get the chance to study abroad. I also didn't make any native-speaking friends until the end of my senior year, which is when my speaking ability noticeably improved. And then after finally graduating, I pretty much stopped studying. I've been hard on myself for not keeping up with my studies post-graduation especially now that I'm finally in Japan, but I'm trying to make up for that by practicing the language every chance I get.
However, I actually feel like my Japanese is even worse than it was when I first got here! It could be that I was so enamored by everything around me (honeymoon phase!) that I didn't realize all the mistakes I was making when using Japanese, but it could also be that the stress of my particular situation is frying my brain. Mixing both English and Japanese at work is definitely a challenge, and even my English has been coming out incorrectly from time to time, haha.
Summer vacation is just around the corner, so I'll have lots of time to properly relax and spend time with my friends and relatives out here. I know that things will get better soon....I just have to keep my head up and keep moving forward. I've fallen down numerous times before and survived, so what's a few more trips?
3 comments:
Don't be hard on yourself like that. Of the many who teach abroad in Japan, not a lot of them take to learning the language, or doing it seriously. Know why? Because it's hard as hell to admit that your time and effort doesn't immediately make you better. It's so much easier just to say you're there for the experience, and to leave the language mostly alone.
Trust me, you will get better, if you keep up a concerted effort. Use new phrases often, and ask to be corrected. Read newspapers online and take in the vocab. There are few substitutes for good old-fashioned hardcore repetition, and the results don't lie.
Don't let yourself burn out from stress, vent it. Don't amplify the stress by putting yourself in bad situations, stay in positive environments.
Don't make the repetition of practice a stressful thing like studying for an exam, make it part of your normal flow, and pretty soon it'll start to show.
Good luck out there Mari.
Marichan ganbatte! you always had good japanese. don't be so hard on yourself. It will come around. And I know... the reality of being in Italy for even 8 months is freaking me out. (TT); homesick zettai naruyone. demo sorewa shouganaisa~! i get homesick for different places when im not there..I hope things get better for you. Marichan nara dekiru tte shinjiteru kara! ganbatte :]
@Alex: Thank you for your kind words and advice. One big problem that I didn't mention is that I'm usually so exhausted after work (especially in this crazy heat!) that I kind of just passively study when I know I should really be working my ass off and trying a lot harder. Luckily, I am oftentimes free AT work and take the time to study then. I'm hoping to make more progress during summer break though~
@Manami: 応援してくれてありがとー！It's unfortunate that culture shock and homesickness are inevitable to living somewhere unfamiliar. つらいよね！（泣）Good luck to you too, Mana-chan ♥
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