Solitude

I've touched on this briefly in a few past entries, but I wanted to elaborate on it a bit more in a full entry. I am very lucky in that I already had friends and relatives in Japan to warmly welcome me when I first arrived here. I'm also lucky in that I've been able to make a number of new friends during my past year and three months here. I was super shy all throughout high school, and slightly less so during and after college. My experiences in this country have taught me to go beyond my comfort zone in order to meet new people and cope with loneliness. But above anything else, Japan has taught me the importance of solitude and being able to live by myself.

A friend of mine who lived here for about four years before moving elsewhere told me that he came to Japan in order to learn how to live on his own. Unlike me, he didn't have a strong interest in the Japanese culture or language prior to moving here, and he gave up studying the language quite early on. Yet he was still able to get by in his own way, and I think a big reason is that he succeeded in his goal of learning to live by himself. Last year, when my homesickness was in full bloom, I was not yet used to being physically and mentally on my own. I was afraid of going out by myself just to run necessary errands or do fun things I'd usually enjoy, and being cooped inside my tiny apartment was more unbearable. Even when I hung out with friends, I felt unfocused and detached from them, and I hated myself for feeling so negative and depressed all the time. But some time after summer vacation ended and work started up again, I made a full turnaround. I'm not sure if there was a specific trigger, but I haven't felt afraid of being alone since then. In fact, I enjoy doing a lot of things by myself now, and prior to celebrating my 26th birthday with friends back in April, I went to Tokyo and hung out with myself, haha. I think it's actually quite common for people to do things by themselves rather with friends, so perhaps it's a part of the culture that I've absorbed over time. I wonder if I'll continue living like this whenever I move back to the States...

New beginnings

It's about damn time I updated this silly thing, isn't it? A lot has happened in the five months since I last posted. I went home for winter break and had a fantastic time seeing my family and friends. I started a list of long-term "goals" (NOT resolutions XP) at the start of the new year and have been making decent progress with it. And I moved from Kumagaya to Iruma about two weeks ago.

I really wanted to stay at my schools in Kumagaya since I felt that I had finally gotten used to everything, but unfortunately something happened with the contracts for the ALTs, so I had the choice of either staying and commuting to a nearby city, or moving altogether. I chose the latter option since a number of my friends decided to move too. It turns out that several teachers that I was relatively close to at the main junior high where I taught were going to be changing schools anyway, and I felt that the new school year wouldn't be the same without them.

Iruma is directly south of Kumagaya and much smaller in size. Since most of my friends from college teach in this city and it's only about 40 minutes to where my relatives live in Tokyo, I figured it would be a much easier adjustment than last year. Also, since I now have a year of teaching experience behind me, I know what to expect and how to go about planning lessons and such. This school year however, instead of going to just one small elementary school once a week, I'm going to three pretty big elementary schools all week long! Upon hearing about my new assignment, I was admittedly nervous. Unlike junior high, elementary school ALTs are generally expected to be the main teachers in the English classes since the Japanese teachers won't necessarily hold English teaching licenses or even speak the language. I was spoiled last year in that the homeroom teachers of both my 5th and 6th grade classes usually took the lead, and the only class I would have to plan and do mostly on my own with the homeroom teacher's assistance was my special ed class. However, teaching that class was what I looked forward to the most during the week. I loved the freedom of choosing what I got to teach, and the kids, even if they couldn't remember everything we would do in class, were absolutely adorable and super eager about my lessons. I have to plan the lessons and lead the classes at two of my schools this year, but so far it's been going well. The kids are bright and attentive, and they seem to like what we've been doing in class. The homeroom teachers have also said that they've been enjoying class, so I guess I'm doing something right! Elementary school does take up a lot of energy though, so I've been taking really long naps almost everyday after returning home, haha. Hopefully I'll get used to this crazy schedule soon.

I do miss Kumagaya, and packing up to move was a bit painful since I knew that I'd be leaving my very first home in Japan. But I do have a good feeling overall about this new start in my life, and have been enjoying life in Iruma a lot so far. And it's really nice knowing that I'm no longer in the hottest city in Japan! We'll see how I feel once summer gets here and the teachers' room isn't constantly air conditioned though ;)