Thursday, June 11, 2015

Part Deux

I've been back in California for over a month now, and even though my several trips home over the years may have lessened my reverse culture shock this time around, it's still a bit unreal to be back. My suitcase and boxes are not even close to being unpacked, and I have so much sorting and throwing out to do in my old room to make space for everything I brought back with me that the mere thought has been overwhelming me. I think a part of me also doesn't really want to face the reality that my life in Japan has ended. I find myself already yearning for the simple life I had over there.

Before coming back, I traveled throughout Asia for the month of April. It was really interesting to see how similar and different the four countries I visited were compared to Japan, and it got me excited into traveling again sometime soon. It also reinforced the Japanisms I gained and Americanisms I lost during my life in Japan, and I thought I'd add to the list I made previously since I thought of a few more.

4) Silence is golden
I never liked small talk, especially with strangers I'll never meet again. If you're just starting to get to know someone, especially with the intention of dating that person, small talk is an unfortunate and awkward stage that I'm always super glad to get over with. But talking to random people in the street or even store clerks and salespeople I've always found super vexsome. Does my waitress really care how my day is going? I doubt it. Yeah, we've had nice weather recently, random old man...I have eyes, you know. I like my shoes too, overly friendly lady next to me on the bus...that's why I bought them. Maybe it's because of my Asian appearance that I rarely got talked to by strangers in the street in Japan, (my more "foreign-looking" foreign friends would complain about getting random English words thrown at them) but I feel like I got way too used to people respecting my personal bubble while in public. Once, and only once, the cashier at a convenience store I would frequent commented on my unusual coin purse, and it threw me so off guard that I nearly didn't know how to respond. Now that I'm back in the U.S., I get bombarded with comments and questions constantly by strangers everywhere, and it drives me bonkers. I have my earphones in for a reason, guys!

5) There's a time and a place for everything
My students in Japan would often ask me if people in America really are "free." I would always respond in the affirmative, and luckily I was never asked why. I wouldn't have known how to answer why myself. But after spending time in both countries, I think I finally have the answer. Japan has a cultural phenomenon called honne and tatemae. People have facades that they put on while in public and a "true self" that exists in their private lives. It is not unique to Japan, however I don't think there are singular words to describe this in any other language besides Japanese. Those who know me know that I'm goofy and like to joke around and laugh. The person I present in the workplace, however, is pretty serious and hardworking. As a teacher, of course I have a "professional" playful side, but that's reserved especially for the classroom. People in Japan often go to nomikai, literally drinking parties, with their co-workers, and there are many throughout the year that are more official and held to celebrate something important. The ones I went to with my schools showed a side of my co-workers I had never seen before. I mean, a bit of their inner personalities would show through at work, but they tended to let all loose after a few sips of beer. Elsewhere in the world, everyone has a sense of professionalism in the workplace, but I feel it's a lot freer. The bus driver of the bus I was on the other day was munching on strawberries while driving. Store clerks in Bangkok were visibly napping or playing with their cellphones when the number of customers went down. The ticket vendor in Shanghai rolled her eyes and sighed at my friend and I when we asked her to recharge our subway cards. Geez fellas...aren't you getting paid to do your job right?

6) Tipping is not a city in China Japan
I worked at a coffee shop for two years and loved getting tips. Working there made me more aware of the importance of tipping in the service industry, especially if you received particularly outstanding service. This practice is virtually nonexistent in Japan, and the only exception I ever witnessed was at Cold Stone Creamery, where the workers still sing to you if you throw a little something in the tip jar. Omotenashi has kind of killed my expectations of service and hospitality in the U.S. Customer service workers treat you like a god in Japan, even without expecting a monetary reward in return. To get the special treatment here, however, a tip is supposed to take you a long way. But that's not even always the case! Gratuity is tacked on at most restaurants if you go with a large group, which is totally understandable, but if your service is crap, you can't get out of it. Even if you don't have a large group and get bad service, you are still expected to leave a little something. I get that the practice started because waiters and other service workers once didn't earn enough to support themselves, but now in the 21st century, people should be paid the proper amount for the work that they do and always treat you the way they want to be treated.

My new-old life back in the States is just beginning, so maybe I'll think differently down the road. I'd still like to think that whatever mannerisms I picked up across the sea have changed me for the better.

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