It's just time to say goodbye

I've thought about it long and hard, and after four years in Japan, I've decided to head back to the States this upcoming April. I've had a few hardships here and there, but overall my life here is very happy and comfortable. I feel that it's just time to say goodbye. Although I really enjoy my job, I can't be an ALT forever. It's more of a part-time job than it is a profession, and I will never get a salary raise or advance to a higher position if I continue to stick with it. That's the sad reality of the situation. I've met veteran ALTs who have been in this country for much longer than I have, and the majority of them are extremely jaded and fed up with their lives. That's not who I want to become. I want to leave Japan loving it as much as I did when I first got here so I can look back on my memories fondly and look forward to visiting again someday.

So what's my plan now? For the longest time, I thought I was going to become a graphic designer. Art has been a huge part of my life ever since I was a kid, and my B.A. is even in photography. I had planned to go back to grad school for graphic design after spending a few years in Japan, but thinking about making art for people, having to change things to suit their preferences, and sitting in front of a computer screen all day made me realize that I can't do it. I thought about studying translation and becoming a Japanese-English translator, but that was never my strong point when I took Japanese classes, plus I find no pleasure in doing it. And since I grew to love teaching so much, I thought about earning a teacher's license to teach elementary students, but as much as I love kids, I can't be around them all day long and I'm no good at math, science, and history.

I'm going to go back to school to study TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). I discovered recently that it's not just teaching, but it's teaching English that I really love. However, I have no background in syntax or linguistics, so it's always difficult for me to answer structure or grammar-related questions that my students have. My teaching methods have been praised quite often even with no official training or license, but I feel that I have a lot of growing to do as an English teacher that I won't be able to do as an ALT in Japan. There are several schools I'm looking into at the moment, so I will spend about a year living at home in California to finish up my applications, work part-time, and reconnect with my family and friends in the Golden State before going back to school. After I graduate, I want to work at a community college or university in Hawaii and teach English to primarily Japanese students. And if I miss it enough, maybe I'll even come back to live in Japan again.

Thank you for accepting me and helping me become a better person. Thank you for bringing me amazing friends, food, and experiences. Thank you for being constantly weird and quirky and always surprising me in new ways. It makes me so sad when I think that my time with you is finally coming to an end, but it's not sayonara forever. I'll be back, and I can't wait to be reunited with you again.